jocks

seated
herself in the
psychiatrists office.
"What seems to be the
problem?" the doctor
asked.
"Well, I, uh," she
stammered. "I think I,
uh, might be a
nymphomaniac."
"I see," he said. "I can
help you, but I must
advise you that my fee is
$80 an hour."
"That's not bad," she
replied. "How much for
all night?"
Loud, mad, or sad
The psychology
instructor had just
finished a lecture on
mental health and was
giving an oral test.
Speaking specifically
about manic depression,
she asked, "How would
you diagnose a patient
who walks back and
forth screaming at the
top of his lungs one
minute, then sits in a
chair weeping
uncontrollably the
next?"
A young man in the rear
raised his hand and
answered, "A basketball
coach?"
I often feel guilty
Sheri, the pert and
pretty nurse took her
troubles to a resident
psychiatrist in the
hospital where she
worked. "Doctor, you
must help me," she
pleaded. "It's gotten so
that every time I date
one of the young doctors
here, I end up dating
him. And then afterward,
I feel guilty and
depressed for a week."
"I see," nodded the
psychiatrist. "And you,
no doubt, want me to
strengthen your will
power and resolve in this
matter."
"NO!!!" exclaimed the
nurse. "I want you to fix
it so I won't feel guilty
and depressed
afterward!"
Emotional extremes
The aspiring psychiatrists
were attending their
first class on emotional
extremes. "Just to
establish some
parameters," said the
professor to the student
from Arkansas, "What is
the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the
student.
And the opposite of
depression?" he asked of
the young lady from
Oklahoma.
"Elation," said she.
"And you sir," he said to
the young man from
Texas, "how about the
opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I
believe that would be
giddy-up."
Ugly person illness
A very homely person
made an appointment
with a psychiatrist. The
homely person walked
into the doctor's office
and said, "Doctor, I'm so
depressed and lonely. I
don't have any friends,
no one will come near
me, and everybody
laughs at me. Can you
help me accept my
ugliness?"
"I'm sure I can." the
psychiatrist replied. "Just
go over and lie face
down on that couch."
Promoting an office
A psychotherapist was
having a roaring business
since he started from
scratch. So much so that
he could now afford to
have a proper shop
banner advertising his
wares. So he told a kid to
paint the sign board for
him & put it above his
shop entrance.
But, instead of his
business building up, it
began to slacken. He had
especially noticed the
ladies shying away from
his shop after reading
the sign board. So he
decided to check it out
himself. Then he
understood why !
The boy found a small
wooden board so he had
split the word into the 3
words :
Psycho-
the-
rapist.
Seeking a jokes
Are you seeking a
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